a stream of conciousness without the delete button

Pennsylvania boy
with one tooth sitting crossed legged over the other
and a dad smile
and an arm wrapped lazily around me
so crude and nameless
pennsylvanica boy
with many wrinkles in his smile
and a laugh that sounds carefully executed

there are no mistakes
there's just what there is
Pennsylvania boy
I'm trying to write with out deleting
with just adding
because there's no mistakes
and I want to like you
I want to have something to latch onto

and where am I if I am alone?
If I leave this year with no breath but my own
I'll be my own island
my skin my lips will be my own
I lay in bed at night under artificial stars and they are my own
I have room to both sides of my body
filled with nothing but what I have placed there
and wrap myself in how good it feels to not be weighed down
by another persons arm
covering my waist like a seat belt

I had a dream the other night
I had his child
and I knew it's time to burn that bridge

and I'm okay
I'm okay okay okay okay okayokay
type that word again and again
and feel how it dances in the slow monotony of okay okay okay
and in your fingers the words feel how they mean

and I feel how I should feel
and know how I am
and what does it matter to anyone else if I don't feel how I should feel
when it doesn't hurt them
so things are okay
okay