I want to be the one that walks away sometime

that breath as we look at each other
and look to see it is who is more overwhelmed by the other
who feels the other will cause them more pain
if they stay another moment

I'd like to be the one to walk away first

But I step outside
and then,
there's cicadas in chorus of longing
there's deer
unexpectedly finding me between them and their baby
and a new moral dilemma I have put them in
as a stranger with unknown intentions
between themesleves and that which they most love

then my soft feet unprepared to
meet the ground they've found
calloused skin, nail and hair
naked to wherever they find themselves

there's the beat of the ocean
pounding at the sand ceaselessly
violent and beautiful

there's some shadows and some light
there's wildness and variety to the landscape
and the ecstasy of having this whole world to myself

But mostly there's the cruelty
I could willfully inflict
on whoever I left behind
to give myself the illusion of power

while knowing I am this funny little thing
Of meat and bones
aching for someone to commit themselves to me
that they could press themselves against me
enough times and for long enough
that we may not feel so alone